Contemplating … Krazy Kat “Advantures”

What the H***! Krazy Kat Advantures?!? Yes, you read that right … No need to adjust your screen or wipe the dust from your spectacles.  I am contemplating living life minimally and off-grid in a metal box with wheels.  Allow me to rephrase that … my southern ethnic ass is really thinking about living full-time in a pimped out cargo van. You can thank my friend, a military veteran, for the idea. Several months ago, she sent me a stream of youtube videos (see a few below) with a text (and, I honestly read it in her voice) … “girl, you need to watch this.” Ever since that day, I’ve been hooked on #vanlife. Negative Nancy will no longer haunt me … Nomad Nathaniel saves me while flying around in a cape crafted with baby wipes and treading about in thigh high hiking boots. Haha!

But, why live in a van? You may ask. Why not? I’ve had my share of living and partially owning (you’re the lender’s biotch for 15 or 30 years) beautiful homes in the suburbs and renting apartments in the city. When I shared my idea with others, you wouldn’t believe the looks and feedback that I received. At this point in my life and at this age (41 in less than 1.5 weeks), I can only show the naysayers what they only wish or dream they could do. I’m like this, you can continue to sit up in your sticks, bricks, and/or vinyl like a prisoner not eligible for parole and I’ll travel the country in my rose gold metal/plastic box with wheels. All, with a little less stress and more dinero in my bank account. I have goals to become debt free, have at least $1,000,000 in savings, and live without limitations. Anything is possible, right? In order to bring that into fruition, I must let go of those things that truly never made me happy. One being my former husband … oh, my bad, veered off the road there for a minute. Anywho, I’m a firm believer in DREAMING BIG, THINKING BIG, and DOING BIG THINGS.

I finally want to be free and as cliche as this may sound, spread my wings and fly. Well, in this case, put the pedal to the floor and explore the unknown one mile at a time. I am so flipping excited. I can’t seem to contain my excitement. I get to shower in the wild, shit in a bucket, and wake up with a view only seen in travel mags magazines.

Stay tuned family for more … Vroom Vroom!

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My Funny Valentine 

You know, my tone, my thoughts, my overall feelings about this day have changed. I’m preparing for something that’ll probably take my breath away; only for a moment though, as I want to inhale the scent of his masculinity and feel the vibration of his love for me. 

I crave that organic … that natural “I want more of you even when I think I’ve had enough of you” love. He’s a mind reader, a healer, a lover, a friend, a communicator, a comedian, a kid at heart, a wanderer, a thinker, a traveler … he’s the lock to my key. He’s my right now, my should have always been, and my “I’m perserving him for later.” He’s that 365 days a year kind of love. He makes my heart dance as it rocks to the rhythm of his every heartbeat. Right now, at this moment, I’m preparing my love for his love. Loving myself before sharing a few pieces of me with someone else. 

It’s more than the flowers, the chocolates, the bears, the cards, etc. Love encompasses the energy of two lost souls and the strength of two tarnished hearts … it’s far from perfect, it’s love in the rawest and most rarest form. 

I adore you My Funny Valentine … where ever you are. I’m so eager to finally meet you. 

May you enjoy this day and every day with someone you crave … with someone who complements your mental, your physical, and your spiritual. 

Happy 365 Moments of Love Day! And, today only serves as one moment … Day (Moment) 45. 

XoXo, 

Karma Loves 💋❤️

The Grinch that Stole My Christmas 

You know, I started to write something so drab and negative. I caught myself in mid-sentence and thought, “how the hell do I expect things to change if I don’t speak positive change into my life?” I’m the Grinch that stole my Christmas. I no longer want to be the victim of delusions, depression, or personal judgements. Yes, I’m still a single Sally, but I’m continuing to build a foundation (within myself) for a stable and fulfilling relationship (if one were to develop in the near future). 

I will admit that I skipped out on attending a BIG family holiday gathering because I would walk in with no date (not even a rent-a-date) for the fifth year in a row … don’t judge, I’m still a work in progess. 


Today, I’m deciding to take charge and spend a little more time with ME. Learning who I am and what I desire from my life. A man should never complete me only complement me. I want to enjoy the single life … I want to enjoy this wondrous woman that I’ve become. 

Life is truly the perfect gift … unwrap it and enjoy the contents. Never limit yourself to life’s many possibilities. The sky is never the limit. Wishing everyone across the globe a happy and joyous day and new year. And, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, and Happy Hanukkah to those who are in celebration. 

Happy Birthday to Me

Today, I celebrate the day of my birth. Today, I will commence my first entry into the final chapter of my 30’s. I can’t say it’s been the absolute best 9 years, but I will say, it’s been a whirlwind of many lessons and quite a few blessings. On this day, December 3rd, 2016, I will make this one of the best years of my 30’s … closing it out with a resounding “goodbye.” But first, Hello 39, with your beautiful self. 

A Letter to Him

Dear My Rhythmic Heartbeat (aka The Healer to My Wounded Soul), 
I adore you … I crave you though we never met in this life time … in this moment in time. I love you to Pluto (the moon seems too close) and back. I think about you daily even in the early hours of the morning while dusk is still in session. I miss you though I’ve never inhaled your fresh mountainy scent, heard your resonant voice, looked you in both of your eyes only to witness my soul being healed by yours or kissed your full lips (it’s your bottom lip nibble that seems to turn me on … damn). It’s the thought of you … the yearning for you. I want to inhale your happiness, mend your sadness, taste all of your glory … Mmm. 
I want to capture each of your tear drops in the palm of my hand creating a mosaic river of both joy and disappointment. I want to listen to you as you talk me through your day’s journey. I want to walk hand in hand with you (our fingers interlocked forming one “great ball of fire”). I want to travel around the globe with you … one city, one country, one continent at a time … even swim the seven seas with you. 

You are the light that shines when darkness lingers. You are truth as I am honesty. You are the voice when I become mute. You are the energy when I’m exhausted. You are the strength when I become weak. You are the faith when my beliefs are in question. 

You are the center of my prayers at night. You are my thoughts during those days of unrest. You are the man handcrafted by the finest craftsman whom is not of this earth. You were selected by the universe just for me … one woman, one heart, one love to share with one man, his heart, his love. 
I Love You My Healer, My Protector, My Friend, My Lover … My Forever. 
Your Present & Your Future, 
Your Displaced Rib 

A Letter to My Suicidal Self

Dear My Darkness,

I don’t even know where to start or even know where to begin … I just don’t want you to feel that it’s your end.

I’ve heard your cries, I’ve felt the tears run down your face as they seeped through the fabric of your existence. I’ve inhaled your anger, your pain, and your exhaustion. I’ve tasted every tear (poignant in nature as it pierced through my tongue) that fell on the palate … the plate of your frame. I heard every word you screamed (until the ringing in my ears was a constant echo) the other night  … eerie and sacrilegious … “I f@@king hate you!” “I don’t want to be you anymore!”

As you stood in front of that elongated mirror the other day, you didn’t recognize your beauty, your strength, your wisdom, your hope, your freedom … But, I did. You felt as if you had lost your femininity. You felt as if your womanhood was stripped until you were unidentifiable … Until your gender was unclassified. In your eyes you were lost … You escaped from the prison of utter disappointment, the prison of a failed marriage and disintegrated relationships, the prison of jaded religions, the prison of financial ruin, the prison of another’s disorientation. And, some days you felt like a prisoner (on death row) trapped in your own body. You felt you had no where to go … Had no one to turn to .. Even felt God tuned His back on you. I traveled though the darkness with you; Even as I tried to lead you into my guiding light.

I too crave the love you one day hope for … the love that you one day inhale and undoubtedly exhale … the love that will be shared with your soul man. You yearn for the love that’ll Illuminate your heart. The heart that has lost its spark … The heart that has lost its beat … The heart that is enslaved by anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, despair, and even deceit.

Yes, this world is a shit storm … Loose, hard, and vile shit flying in all directions. We will not lay dormant in a pool of foul fecal matter. We will not fear the fearful … We will not surrender to the hateful … We will not incarcerate ourselves until we “dry rot.” We will not be prisoners of our own war.

We made it 38.5 years together .. let’s continue this crossing of life together … This journey of resilience and discernment. I’ll hold your hand, I’ll walk with you … I’ll wade through the river of Jordan with you.

Life is a beautiful canvas … Colorful and  limpid. We must use the brush of life and continuously paint with strokes to the left and paint with strokes to the right … there will be as many ups as there are downs. We must seek the light of a better day before darkness casts its grueling spell.

I love you … You’re my inspiration … You’re  my protector as I am yours. You’re my soul sister … You’re my spirit animal. You are a survivor … You are me as I am you.

This is our new beginning my sister … You are the love of my life.

 

*If you know someone who has lost the map of life, please reach out to them, walk with them, talk to them (not at them), lend a helping hand. I hope to reach the masses  with my letter of truth. It’s evident that in many communities, certain life elements are frowned upon and/or not discussed. We all must realize suicide is a disease (depression is the culprit). We must find a cure. Please share this letter as it could be one’s ticket to freedom.

 

Xoxo,

Your Light

Why?!? Oh, Why?!?

 

Why must I release myself from the bed of life (just added a 3 inch mattress topper to my queen size bed… enroute to cloud nine)? Why must I dig through my closet of 100 pairs of shoes (and counting) and rummage through my suitcases (don’t judge me, I foresee a trip in the near future … my passport is still a virgin and she’s more than ready to get her cherry popped) for a “meet him while out or be alone with 5 dogs in heat, 2 alley cats, 3  ‘always talking shit’ parrots, and a pet fish named Smokie” ensemble just for a dateless night out? I don’t want to go … I don’t want to be disappointed all over again. Dating (well, attempting to date) while heavily engrossed in video games (Xbox 360 is bae) and YouTube (couple/family vlogs) sucks major cow balls. I guess you can say, a sista is stuck in her ways.

They (by the way, who the hell is they?) say you won’t meet a man if you’re locked up in your room wearing oversized sweats and a crooked black girl bonnet. Why not? Prepares to reenact a random 2 year old temper tantrum on her birthday … In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (slowly falls to fall).

Dating has become nothing more than a race to a soiled motel room or a stranger’s sofa. This sista refuses to be a “Dine with me, F’me then Free Me type of woman.” You know, I miss those days where guys and gals “worked” hard for the first date … Remember the first time you saw his/her face and actually got butterflies before uttering the first hello, the first touch of his/her hand when he/she handed you the “digits,” and the first phone convo that lasted nearly 5 hours, but felt more like eternity. Sigh with a head shake … Why?!?Oh, Why?!? What happened? One guess … The emergence of social media and the ability to “like,” “comment,” or “DM (Direct Message)” someone anonymously. I’ve heard of men sending soft and uncircumcised penis pics and women sending dirty butt pics. Really? Like for real … I can’t deal … 

The Internet traffic is congested and it’s not going to taper off anytime soon. Travel light and be prepared/aware of potential road blocks. It’s going to be one hell of a ride, but well worth the journey … never an end always a new beginning. 

Never giving up on this thing we all call … LOVE. 

Xoxo, 

Karma Loves ❤️💋