Contemplating … Krazy Kat “Advantures”

What the H***! Krazy Kat Advantures?!? Yes, you read that right … No need to adjust your screen or wipe the dust from your spectacles.  I am contemplating living life minimally and off-grid in a metal box with wheels.  Allow me to rephrase that … my southern ethnic ass is really thinking about living full-time in a pimped out cargo van. You can thank my friend, a military veteran, for the idea. Several months ago, she sent me a stream of youtube videos (see a few below) with a text (and, I honestly read it in her voice) … “girl, you need to watch this.” Ever since that day, I’ve been hooked on #vanlife. Negative Nancy will no longer haunt me … Nomad Nathaniel saves me while flying around in a cape crafted with baby wipes and treading about in thigh high hiking boots. Haha!

But, why live in a van? You may ask. Why not? I’ve had my share of living and partially owning (you’re the lender’s biotch for 15 or 30 years) beautiful homes in the suburbs and renting apartments in the city. When I shared my idea with others, you wouldn’t believe the looks and feedback that I received. At this point in my life and at this age (41 in less than 1.5 weeks), I can only show the naysayers what they only wish or dream they could do. I’m like this, you can continue to sit up in your sticks, bricks, and/or vinyl like a prisoner not eligible for parole and I’ll travel the country in my rose gold metal/plastic box with wheels. All, with a little less stress and more dinero in my bank account. I have goals to become debt free, have at least $1,000,000 in savings, and live without limitations. Anything is possible, right? In order to bring that into fruition, I must let go of those things that truly never made me happy. One being my former husband … oh, my bad, veered off the road there for a minute. Anywho, I’m a firm believer in DREAMING BIG, THINKING BIG, and DOING BIG THINGS.

I finally want to be free and as cliche as this may sound, spread my wings and fly. Well, in this case, put the pedal to the floor and explore the unknown one mile at a time. I am so flipping excited. I can’t seem to contain my excitement. I get to shower in the wild, shit in a bucket, and wake up with a view only seen in travel mags magazines.

Stay tuned family for more … Vroom Vroom!

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Give Back

There are billions upon billions of people and other living things that reside in this place we call … HOME. The world is composed of women, men, infants, toddlers, teenagers, canines, felines, insects, primates, and so much more. We all saunter the fields of floral beauty … eat from the garden of eternal youth … inhale the scent of the earth (lumber from the eldering trees, rain from the Cumulonimbus clouds, smoke from a chimney, a sweet and supple scent from a youthful and colorful cluster of pansies). We all tend to give and take from the earth … the one place we all call our safe haven.

We must learn to share our plentiful supply of every day necessities (tangible or intangible) to those less fortunate. Once (or twice) a week I encourage you to GIVE BACK. Give from the heart and ask another supporter to do the same. If you know of someone having a challenging day, send an email, write a short and sweet note (Your day will get brighter, You’re Awesome, Be Encouraged, Smile, You’re Blessed), or give them a call. If you know of someone needing a hug, HUG THEM. If you know of someone needing advice (that doesn’t require professional guidance), SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. If you know of someone who just needs to talk, LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. If you have a love for animals, visit or volunteer at a local animal shelter. If you see an elderly lady or gentleman needing a helping hand, reach out to assist them. If you see someone struggling to open a door, OPEN IT! There’s truly no limit to what you can offer the world. You are giving back to the earth what it has been missing for centuries … LOVE, PEACE, HAPPINESS, HARMONY, and GOODWILL.

You never know when you may need that one thing you offered someone else. Lend a helping hand to someone less fortunate. GIVE BACK! BE A HERO/SHERO!

 

I Love You Jordan Knight

This morning I had the pleasure of revisiting my childhood crush through music. It’s true, music can send trembles through your body and cause a reminiscent rush of adolescent hormones. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard his voice call me (well, not exactly) … his voice touched me though … it felt like a personal serenade. I literally hopped out of bed, grabbed the nearest hair brush, stood in front of my elongated mirror, and proceeded to sing a duet with Jordan Knight to one of the hottest songs of the late 80’s …. “I’ll Be Loving You Forever” by one of the most successful boy bands of all time … New Kids on the Mother Freaking Block. Ok, I can’t contain myself now, my inner preteen has been channeled …. SCREAMING!!! I must take you down memory lane.

 

I was 12 years old when I had my first ever boy band crush. I remember like it was yesterday (more like, last night in my dreams). I turned on my 13 inch color tube TV (had to use an antenna with foil on the ends) and there he was … the boy of my every daydream. The band of all boy bands had hit the scene all crispy and clean … New Kids on the Block and I was in love with Jordan Knight. I knew he was the one the moment I laid eyes on him. I wanted to marry him and be his Chewy Caramel Creme Sundae (without the nuts). We were going to live in Boston, MA with Joey McIntyre and my cousin Tiffany. We were going to have 10 kids … Jordan Jr., Jordan III, Jordan IV, Jordan V, Jorden, Jordache, Jordania, Jordana, Jordena, and Jorgena. And, live in a mansion with 2 dogs, a parrot, and a pet monkey. I had already picked out my wedding dress, our first song, and had the venue on speed dial.

I had all of the New Kids on the Block paraphernalia (posters, pins, stickers, a sleeping bag, phone, dolls, bags, books, cups, t-shirts, etc) including all of the teeny bopper magazines where they graced the cover. I even used to kiss Jordan’s poster (had him plastered on the wall in the center above my head board) at night before bed (and there were times he slept beside me). Can you say, OBSESSED CHOCOLATE GIRL?!?

When I saw this video for the first time, I almost passed out in the middle of the living room. I was officially a crazed and kooky fan. He was the first guy to ever (and still is …well, besides Adam Levine, Channing Tatum, and Morris Chestnut who are my present day heart-throbs ) to make me go ape shit every time I heard his voice or saw his face on the television screen. I STILL LOVE YOU JORDAN!! SCREAMS!!

I remember going to one of their concerts in Greenville, SC with my dad. We sat thousands of yards away, but when Jordan waved at the crowd on the left I knew it was meant for only me. Sigh … my 30 something year old self returns.

He’s still my future husband even as I continue to age oh so gracefully … I’m legal now Jordan, call me (803) HOT-FORU.

Know Your Worth

There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t hear a woman complaining about her non-committal situation with a man (and sometimes with another woman). I’ve been there and often traveled down that non-committal road of temporary sexual satisfaction (mostly from him), frustration (not knowing where the “situationship” was going), anger (mostly because he didn’t text or call like he said he would), confusion (a part of me wanted to end it, but I didn’t want to be alone), trust issues (questioning his every move), blindness (purposefully ignoring the red flags or jumping over the roadblocks), and looking for love (looking for what I didn’t propose to myself).

I’m not feeding you any bull shit or trying to come off as a wailing bitch because “one man hurt me.” I speak from experience. I still don’t know it all, but my life experiences have taught me to be more on guard. I can honestly say, I stand as a woman who loves and appreciates herself.

If that complementary man was to fall from the sky and land on my doorstep (wishful thinking), I would be willing to share that love with him (never giving all of me … saving just enough for myself).

We often place ourselves in situations then blame the disastrous outcome on the other party. It’s not just the men … ladies, you play a major role in every sequel. Knowing your worth as a woman will open doors (not bedroom doors, but car doors, restaurant doors, museum doors … you get the picture). A woman’s worth is like a rare pearl just extracted from the shell of a mollusk … it is invaluable … it’s indissoluble … it’s the closest thing to the soul of a woman. A woman’s worth combined with a man’s courage may cause an out of body (or out of reality) experience.

Be a woman of stature! Know your worth!

Dear Unborn Child

Dear Unborn Child,

It’s not that I don’t want you …

I am financially unstable

I am mentally incapable

I am spiritually torn

I am emotionally drained

I am psychologically detached

It’s not that I don’t want you … I think of you daily. I feel the warmth of your body against my chest. I feel the sucking sensation on my nipples as you eat from my breasts. I want to raise you with values and morals. And reward you with diamonds and pearls. I want to protect you from the impurities of this world.

It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want the responsibility of being a mother in love with a man who cared only when his penis was in her hand. I don’t want to be just the “baby mama” … I don’t need the excessive drama. I know, how selfish of me.

It’s not that I don’t want you … Right now, I’m embracing my life as a single, dateless, and childless being. Before we (your father and I) bring you into this world, I want to be certain we’re prepared to bear your strife, your joy, your hurt, your pain … whether you’re a boy or a girl.

It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want to be another mother of a fatherless child.

With Love,

Your Looming Mommy

I salute all the single mothers (and fathers) of the world. Continue to be like superwomen (and supermen). Your child’s happiness is your power and your strength. Wear your cape with pride.

Breast Cancer Awareness

The month of October grants many expressive outlets. I often participate in many festivities (i.e. Halloween, Volunteer at Sports Related Races, Local Fall Festivals. State Wide County Fairs). I also contribute my time and money in an effort to spread breast cancer awareness. It is imperative that ladies and men (especially those over the age of 25) check themselves regularly for any unusual growths (lumps) or deformities near or around the breasts. According to the American Cancer Society, “breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, but the good news is “at this time there are more than 2.8 million breast cancer survivors in the United States.”

Early Detection and Awareness can and will save lives. For more information, visit Breast Cancer Awareness

My aunt passed away from breast cancer in 2007. I visited her in the hospital a few hours before her life was taken away. She was alert, but frail and very weak. Her complexion was no longer the color of caramel with a dab of cream. Her full head of kinks and coils was nonexistent. Her contagious smile was no longer. I remember chills running down my body as I held her hand and watched as cancer only allowed her a few more breaths.

Aunt Barbara will always be my hero. I can feel the breeze from her wings and hear her angelic voice as she whispers, “I’m doing just fine.”

If a family member, friend, or even a stranger has been diagnosed or suddenly passed away with breast cancer, comment below with their name and a message or prayer.

There must be a cure for this dreadful disease. Spread Love and Awareness! We must start a “Make Love to Your Boobs” revolution. Remember the adage, Make Love, Not War … We will Make Love to our Boobs to avoid a War with Cancer.

I say this loud and proud with my middle finger in the air (and still remain a lady) … F-BOMB YOU CANCER!!!