I’m single, a little sassy, and classy. What more can a woman ask for or desire besides the obvious. I must be honest with you though, I’m a bit over strolling through Single Street with pedicured toes, hair blowing in the wind, and a walk that’ll stop traffic.
I want to travel the world with a man … a gentle, kindhearted, and fearless man. I want our souls to connect, our hearts to beat with one rhythm (his “lub” flows with my “dub”). I want our minds to be stimulated by words of intellect. I want our bodies to collide … to reach a point of an orgasmic overdose when we’re together or when we’re apart. I want to embrace his culture as he embraces mine.
I want to build a home with him (together we lay bricks and stones). I want to cook (preparing our favorite dish) for him while wearing only an apron and stilettos. I want to wash his back, I want him to kiss my neck, I want to heal his pain, his strife … wipe his tears (not only in the dark, but in the light).
I want us to take a stroll in the city hand in hand, side by side, and shoulder to shoulder while leading each other. I want others to feel the warmth of our flame … see the passion in our eyes. I want others to marvel our story of love in raw form.
Now, I’m slowly opening my eyes, only to realize, I still remain in this obscure reality. However, I’m learning (each and every day) that it’s possible to be single, a little sassy, and classy.
I never thought I would be at this place in my life or be in this moment of internal happiness. I may not have all the fame, the riches of this land, or even a man …but, I have my faith, my self-dignity, and most of all, my joy. I will not allow anyone to steal or even borrow the fabric of my life … the pieces of my existence.
I am so grateful for web outlets like WordPress that allows writers and creative thinkers, like myself, to delve more into the art of storytelling. I want to reach the masses. I want to save lives. I want to create a safe haven for those who never sought shelter from the storm.
We are placed in certain positions or situations in life for a reason. Through my trials, through my unhappiness, through my pain, through my tears, through those words of hate and disgust … I still held on to what little strength I had … to STAND (slightly upright).
Be an inspiration and save the world.
Dear Unborn Child,
It’s not that I don’t want you …
I am financially unstable
I am mentally incapable
I am spiritually torn
I am emotionally drained
I am psychologically detached
It’s not that I don’t want you … I think of you daily. I feel the warmth of your body against my chest. I feel the sucking sensation on my nipples as you eat from my breasts. I want to raise you with values and morals. And reward you with diamonds and pearls. I want to protect you from the impurities of this world.
It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want the responsibility of being a mother in love with a man who cared only when his penis was in her hand. I don’t want to be just the “baby mama” … I don’t need the excessive drama. I know, how selfish of me.
It’s not that I don’t want you … Right now, I’m embracing my life as a single, dateless, and childless being. Before we (your father and I) bring you into this world, I want to be certain we’re prepared to bear your strife, your joy, your hurt, your pain … whether you’re a boy or a girl.
It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want to be another mother of a fatherless child.
Your Looming Mommy
I salute all the single mothers (and fathers) of the world. Continue to be like superwomen (and supermen). Your child’s happiness is your power and your strength. Wear your cape with pride.
I had the perfect hour glass figure when I was in my early to mid-20’s. I could eat almost anything (even after midnight) and not gain an ounce of fat only a few dimples in the derrière area. It was when I hit 29 that I started to notice a change in my face, my thighs, and abdominal area. And to add gasoline to the already chemically induced flame, I thought I was in love with my now ex-husband. It’s true, love can make you do some crazy
things shit, like gain over 30lbs and devour Chinese Take Out (General Tso or Sesame Chicken with white rice and an egg roll) and Chick-fil-a (Regular fried chicken sandwich with a large order of waffle fries drenched in 10 packs of ketchup) every single day. On top of that, I drove 20miles for a fresh dozen of Krispy Kreme’s HOT glazed doughnuts. I am convinced that the luminous red light is demonic and will hypnotize you.
I literally let myself go during my 4 year marriage. I lost the person I once was and transformed into a person I thought I would never be … depressed, hopeless, and overweight. I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the bathroom mirror so I would never turn the light on even to take a shower … I used natural light or lit a candle. My reflection was my frenemy. My size 8 turned into a size 16. My face looked as if I inhaled helium and my legs were like two steroid injected chicken drum sticks.
On February 14, 2011, I decided I had to make a change. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror completely exposed with the lights on. Tears started to flow down my face as I made several clockwise turns. That same night I used google to search “ways to lose weight after 30.” I read articles, blogs, and even watched YouTube videos of random people that were in my situation … we were cruising on the same boat and walking on the same path. I was not alone.
Fast forward 3 years … I am now a vegetarian living a healthy lifestyle (I eat 85% clean). I went from a size 14-16 (left side of photo) to a size 10 (right side of photo). The bulk of my weight was lost by changing my eating habits and completing a round of P90x, half a round of Chalean Extreme, and a round of Insanity. In 2015, I plan to compete in an obstacle style race (Spartan Race or Tough Mudder). If you have competed in the latter, please share your experience.
Presently, I am doing a round of Insanity Asylum (pure hell) and plan to do another round before my 37th birthday on December 3rd. You can do anything you put your mind to … your heart and soul will soon follow. You could be superhuman … move mountains, walk the sea, or even ride a stratocumulus cloud. Nothing in life is impossible if you believe that it’s POSSIBLE.
I am in no way affiliated with beach body products or any of its services. This is my story and I intend to inspire others. Your story can save lives! I can’t wait to hear yours!