Happy 37th Birthday to Me

 Happy 37th Birthday to ME!

IMG_1571I was hoping to wake up with a “boner” on my back (leaving quite an indentation) or a kiss on my lips from my “boo in my head”… or maybe breakfast in bed with a “baby’s breath blue” Tiffany & Co. box under my Eggo waffle. Bah Humbug! Ha Ha! Instead, I rose from my bed, let out a tigress yawn, extended my arms, released an early morning surge of gas (oops, sorry … I had Chipotle last night), and inhaled explicable joy. I am undeniably thankful for life at 37 years young. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m positioned where I need to be. From this day forward I plan to LIVE … LIVE without fear of the unknown and LIVE without regret.

                          Happy 37th Birthday to ME!

 
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Laughter is Contagious

IMG_1443There’s nothing more magical than a photo still in black and white. Check out my expression … Laughter is the cure to all things unhoped for.

Laughter can be seen and heard … It’s a contagious inner and outer body reaction to certain stimuli. It’s like a magical fairy dust that’s sprinkled over a cluster of grey clouds.

Today, laugh a little … no, laugh a lot.  Create sunshine when there’s rain. Create morning when there’s night. Create light when there’s darkness. Create memories when you have very little (having a little means you have just enough). Inspire someone with your smile.

 

*Photo was taken in Savannah, Ga on St. Patty’s Day (By Anissa D. Anderson) … March 2014

Say What Now

“Wait, run that by me again … you’ve never had an orgasm?” It is definitely a fact. Many women over the age of thirty never experienced the “orgasmic flow” … the “va-jay-jay that runneth over” … the “climactic rush” … the “pressure releaser” … the “spew of sweet nectar” … the “tears of the womb.”

Sorry fellas, some women have been faking the Big “O” (for quite some time) with eyes rolls (and you thought it was because you caused an orgasmic exorcism), with spasmodic –like episodes (and you thought you laid “it” down), and with a loud obnoxious moan (almost deafening). It was all just a show … a-not-so celebratory experience for her, but more of an explosion for him. Faking the Big “O” can be exhausting especially if the woman is not emotionally or mentally connected to her partner. For a small majority of women, an “orgasmic eruption” comes quite natural during intercourse or any other sexually generated act (damn, she was blessed with a golden glitter box).

Faking an orgasm comes natural for the other half of the female population. It’s like auditioning to play the role of the leading lady in a short film (“He Always Get His And I Never Get Mine”). Lights, Camera, Action! You lay there, he pulls it out … he climbs on top of you (wearing nothing but white socks) … he puts it in the wrong hole … you give him the “I know the hell you didn’t just try that shit” look … he struggles for a moment then finds the right hole … you moan and you groan … he huffs and he puffs … he whispers, “Do you like it?” … you lie, “Yes, now give it to me big daddy” … he goes faster, you scream his name (shouting every syllable) … he starts to perspire like he’s an olympian about to reach the finish line … you roll your eyes (hoping this shit is about to end) … he growls, he moans … he shakes, he rattles, and then he rolls over … you look at the clock hoping your telekinetic sense will move time backwards (you want ten minutes of your life back) … the END.

It is very pertinent that a woman knows her body, loves her body, and embraces the body she owns. Men must learn every inch of a woman’s body (Anatomy 101 is a great start). Know her turn-ons … her turn-offs (not just in a sexual sense). Mentally stimulate her with words of affection and declaration … more like a mental massage (could easily make her feen for your loving).

The Big “O” will be an even greater experience if both participants learn each other (e.g. his/her touch, his/her smell, his/her walk, and his/her vocal range during certain activities). It’s ok to think outside the bedroom … try something new, try something bold … be a rebel without a cause (just don’t get your ass arrested). Most importantly, experience the wild and crazy things  shit together.

Before I sound off, fellas, make her give dap (a fist pump) to the Lord himself (feed her mind, body, and soul). She will thank you and thank the Lord for blessing her with a modern-day superman (a man with telepathic and super-orgasmic powers).

Let’s Free the Flow!