Contemplating … Krazy Kat “Advantures”

What the H***! Krazy Kat Advantures?!? Yes, you read that right … No need to adjust your screen or wipe the dust from your spectacles.  I am contemplating living life minimally and off-grid in a metal box with wheels.  Allow me to rephrase that … my southern ethnic ass is really thinking about living full-time in a pimped out cargo van. You can thank my friend, a military veteran, for the idea. Several months ago, she sent me a stream of youtube videos (see a few below) with a text (and, I honestly read it in her voice) … “girl, you need to watch this.” Ever since that day, I’ve been hooked on #vanlife. Negative Nancy will no longer haunt me … Nomad Nathaniel saves me while flying around in a cape crafted with baby wipes and treading about in thigh high hiking boots. Haha!

But, why live in a van? You may ask. Why not? I’ve had my share of living and partially owning (you’re the lender’s biotch for 15 or 30 years) beautiful homes in the suburbs and renting apartments in the city. When I shared my idea with others, you wouldn’t believe the looks and feedback that I received. At this point in my life and at this age (41 in less than 1.5 weeks), I can only show the naysayers what they only wish or dream they could do. I’m like this, you can continue to sit up in your sticks, bricks, and/or vinyl like a prisoner not eligible for parole and I’ll travel the country in my rose gold metal/plastic box with wheels. All, with a little less stress and more dinero in my bank account. I have goals to become debt free, have at least $1,000,000 in savings, and live without limitations. Anything is possible, right? In order to bring that into fruition, I must let go of those things that truly never made me happy. One being my former husband … oh, my bad, veered off the road there for a minute. Anywho, I’m a firm believer in DREAMING BIG, THINKING BIG, and DOING BIG THINGS.

I finally want to be free and as cliche as this may sound, spread my wings and fly. Well, in this case, put the pedal to the floor and explore the unknown one mile at a time. I am so flipping excited. I can’t seem to contain my excitement. I get to shower in the wild, shit in a bucket, and wake up with a view only seen in travel mags magazines.

Stay tuned family for more … Vroom Vroom!

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Dear God,Why Not Me?

I’m a little pissed at Him right now … Him being God. I am not afraid to admit it. I’ll probably be shoved into the pit of hell or shunned because of blasphemy. Do not throw your dusty bible at me or grab the bottle of holy water that’s been resting in your crotch. I do believe in a higher power … I do believe there’s a place above all with angels adorned in robes crafted from the finest fabrics. I do believe in miracles … I do believe in the golden gates. Like most, I’m always questioning His timing … His sense of humor.

Dear God, why not me? Why haven’t I received the answer to my prayers (more like cries for help)? You know, the prayers I’ve been uttering for the past five years, 2 months, and 23 days. Some say, it’s just not my time or others constantly remind me of the biblical adage, “He may not come when you want Him, but He’ll be right on time.”

I guess my thinking is spiritually out of sync or tainted because  I am constantly reminded of the “false” perception of happiness through social media (you know, the luxurious trips to Punta  Cana, the fabulous excursions on a yacht, or the kissie face selfies near the Eiffel Tower). I will admit, I envy those who are given the freedom to love without regret or the freedom to connect with their love mate … their second heartbeat. It’s a complicated task not to live your life through the reflection of someone else. A drift of depression tends to set in when I compare my current dating stance to women (or men) who “own” their extremely active social lives outside of their 9-5 … Just call me Basic Ass Becky. 😭

Dear God, why not me? I prayed not for all the riches of the world (but, if you’re issuing passes, I’m down) or to be blessed with (a single) David Beckham in H&M briefs or a bare chested Morris Chestnut wrapped in a damp (just stepped out the shower) Egyptian towel  (but, if you’re molding one, hook a sista up).  Ok, Ok, back to reality. I want the love without internal bruising, the tears of pain from infidelity, or the chipped heart from loving him more than I love myself. I want the love that hoards constant laughter; love that emits sparks only him and I will have the pleasure of  experiencing; love that speaks many languages; love that withstands war between two conflicting souls; etc. etc.

Dear God, Why not me? Lord, I will be forced to wear the armor of a woman in need during her sweet hour of prayer … a padded helmet with the satin black girl bonnet (BGB) underneath, neck brace, elbow pads, boxing gloves (I mean, I’m just saying, it’s going down in the prayer DM), and knee pads. Le Sigh … 

This continuous journey of mine will not be diverted. Love will prevail. 

 

XOXO

Karma Loves ❤️💋

Give Back

There are billions upon billions of people and other living things that reside in this place we call … HOME. The world is composed of women, men, infants, toddlers, teenagers, canines, felines, insects, primates, and so much more. We all saunter the fields of floral beauty … eat from the garden of eternal youth … inhale the scent of the earth (lumber from the eldering trees, rain from the Cumulonimbus clouds, smoke from a chimney, a sweet and supple scent from a youthful and colorful cluster of pansies). We all tend to give and take from the earth … the one place we all call our safe haven.

We must learn to share our plentiful supply of every day necessities (tangible or intangible) to those less fortunate. Once (or twice) a week I encourage you to GIVE BACK. Give from the heart and ask another supporter to do the same. If you know of someone having a challenging day, send an email, write a short and sweet note (Your day will get brighter, You’re Awesome, Be Encouraged, Smile, You’re Blessed), or give them a call. If you know of someone needing a hug, HUG THEM. If you know of someone needing advice (that doesn’t require professional guidance), SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. If you know of someone who just needs to talk, LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. If you have a love for animals, visit or volunteer at a local animal shelter. If you see an elderly lady or gentleman needing a helping hand, reach out to assist them. If you see someone struggling to open a door, OPEN IT! There’s truly no limit to what you can offer the world. You are giving back to the earth what it has been missing for centuries … LOVE, PEACE, HAPPINESS, HARMONY, and GOODWILL.

You never know when you may need that one thing you offered someone else. Lend a helping hand to someone less fortunate. GIVE BACK! BE A HERO/SHERO!

 

Say What Now

“Wait, run that by me again … you’ve never had an orgasm?” It is definitely a fact. Many women over the age of thirty never experienced the “orgasmic flow” … the “va-jay-jay that runneth over” … the “climactic rush” … the “pressure releaser” … the “spew of sweet nectar” … the “tears of the womb.”

Sorry fellas, some women have been faking the Big “O” (for quite some time) with eyes rolls (and you thought it was because you caused an orgasmic exorcism), with spasmodic –like episodes (and you thought you laid “it” down), and with a loud obnoxious moan (almost deafening). It was all just a show … a-not-so celebratory experience for her, but more of an explosion for him. Faking the Big “O” can be exhausting especially if the woman is not emotionally or mentally connected to her partner. For a small majority of women, an “orgasmic eruption” comes quite natural during intercourse or any other sexually generated act (damn, she was blessed with a golden glitter box).

Faking an orgasm comes natural for the other half of the female population. It’s like auditioning to play the role of the leading lady in a short film (“He Always Get His And I Never Get Mine”). Lights, Camera, Action! You lay there, he pulls it out … he climbs on top of you (wearing nothing but white socks) … he puts it in the wrong hole … you give him the “I know the hell you didn’t just try that shit” look … he struggles for a moment then finds the right hole … you moan and you groan … he huffs and he puffs … he whispers, “Do you like it?” … you lie, “Yes, now give it to me big daddy” … he goes faster, you scream his name (shouting every syllable) … he starts to perspire like he’s an olympian about to reach the finish line … you roll your eyes (hoping this shit is about to end) … he growls, he moans … he shakes, he rattles, and then he rolls over … you look at the clock hoping your telekinetic sense will move time backwards (you want ten minutes of your life back) … the END.

It is very pertinent that a woman knows her body, loves her body, and embraces the body she owns. Men must learn every inch of a woman’s body (Anatomy 101 is a great start). Know her turn-ons … her turn-offs (not just in a sexual sense). Mentally stimulate her with words of affection and declaration … more like a mental massage (could easily make her feen for your loving).

The Big “O” will be an even greater experience if both participants learn each other (e.g. his/her touch, his/her smell, his/her walk, and his/her vocal range during certain activities). It’s ok to think outside the bedroom … try something new, try something bold … be a rebel without a cause (just don’t get your ass arrested). Most importantly, experience the wild and crazy things  shit together.

Before I sound off, fellas, make her give dap (a fist pump) to the Lord himself (feed her mind, body, and soul). She will thank you and thank the Lord for blessing her with a modern-day superman (a man with telepathic and super-orgasmic powers).

Let’s Free the Flow!

Inspire the World

I never thought I would be at this place in my life or be in this moment of internal happiness. I may not have all the fame, the riches of this land, or even a man …but, I have my faith, my self-dignity, and most of all, my joy. I will not allow anyone to steal or even borrow the fabric of my life … the pieces of my existence.

imageI am so grateful for web outlets like WordPress that allows writers and creative thinkers, like myself, to delve more into the art of storytelling. I want to reach the masses. I want to save lives. I want to create a safe haven for those who never sought shelter from the storm.

We are placed in certain positions or situations in life for a reason. Through my trials, through my unhappiness, through my pain, through my tears, through those words of hate and disgust … I still held on to what little strength I had … to STAND (slightly upright).

Be an inspiration and save the world.

 

Be a Blessing

You never know what someone is going through until you walk miles (barefoot) or in their shoes with no soles. Everyone attempts to travel alone before needing the company of someone else. The world is composed of too many bullies (intentional or unintentional). Before you form your lips to speak, allow your thoughts to process. The tongue is the most powerful weapon we as humans possess. It’s like a samurai sword piercing through your body and tipping the core of your heart (right before the “lub dub”).

We were all planted on this earth to bloom without fear of someone cutting off our supply of water, oxygen, and essential nutrients and fly without fear of someone clipping our wings. Humans tend to be the most disengaged and insensible beings on earth. We often attack others (with words) like a predator decoying its prey. Words can hurt and in many instances, kill.

I ask that each and every one of you take just five minutes out of your day to converse with a stranger. It only takes a few seconds to utter, “Good Morning” or “Have a beautiful day.” Smile like you just won the lottery. Actually you did … the lottery of life. You were blessed with another chance and another opportunity to LIVE. Be a blessing to someone else. A chapter in your life story could be the one to save a life.

Dateless in Carolina Theatrics

Today is not just like any other day. Each day that you arise you are granted another opportunity to LIVE, to be FREE, to be WHOLE, and to be YOU. Thank You Universe! Thank you Lord! Thank you Angels! Thank you Creator!

I often do the same things every morning … roll over several times, close my eyes, and wipe the sweat from my thighs (hoping that the half naked man in my dreams would reappear), slap and curse at the alarm clock (until I only have ten minutes to get dressed for work), do my wide arm and wide mouth stretch, hop out of bed and into the shower (allowing the steam to penetrate my skin), lubricate my body with my coconut oil concoction, grab my two-piece suit and kitty kat heels, put on a natural face (just a dab of Cover FX in Medium Deep just to shield the imperfections), cover my lips with Mac’s Cherish (one of the best nudes for women of color), run to the kitchen to grab a bottle of Bolthouse Farm’s Vanilla Chai Latte (may cause an orgasm in your mouth) from the frig, and make my way to the car (trying not to slam the door behind me). Dateless in Carolina never felt so theatrical.

Always remember that your life is your story … it’s your moment to be in the spotlight. You are the only one that can call ACTION! Be free to live without regret, without fear, and without knowing. You will never know what the world has in store if you don’t take a chance.

Spread your wings and Fly … Fly higher than the eagles that scamper through the clouds. Free yourself!