Yeah, I know I said I wouldn’t use “juvenilistic” acronyms or short hand text. But, “f” it, it will be used only (can’t guarantee at this point) during this vent. What the f@&k (oops, sorry, slip of the tongue) is wrong with the world of dating? It doesn’t seem to exist anymore. Some men (and women, I might add) are only looking to hook up … “F” and go. It’s like you’re at a drive thru … you order a large penis (without the bun as you’re watching your carb intake) or a juicy fat vajayjay with a side of no emotions. What happened to dating? What happened to courting? What happened to learning, loving, and eventually gaining a life mate?
Metaphorically speaking, I’ve traveled through dungeons, caves, wild animal traps, and swung from tree to tree with Tarzan … Ha! Hell, even thought I was a part of a lost scene in Game of Thrones (Khaleesi’s aka “mother of dragons” half sister on her Father’s side). Anywho, back to my vent … I don’t even think the men I’ve encountered (on dating sites, dating apps, in real world scenarios, etc.) are from this planet … they were probably rejects from Mars. I honestly think some meteorite crashed on planet Earth and its kryptonite sucked the life out of (some) men (and women) leaving them with toddler brains. It’s so disheartening when a guy asks for nudes and/or sends you an unwarranted photo of his junk with lint balls. Wait, I must add a little more iodized salt to the womb …. I once had a guy tell me he wears lipstick and nail polish (see screenshot below). I can’t make this shit up even if I wanted to. This and a hell of a lot more usually occurs after an introductory text as phone calls are nonexistent; at least in today’s world of reckless dating.
You know what, I’m going to sell all of my shit leaving nothing but a pair of spiked combat boots and several pair of (a female’s monthly favorites) granny panties (the ones with the holes and discoloration). This woman is heading to the nearest nunnery.
Sigh … WTF! Dating Sucks!
I feel like the rope in a game of tug of war … strength and looks can be deceiving. My dating life and the pursuit of finding a mate are at war… equally unbalanced. My emotions are caught in a never ending storm … damaging high winds, terrestrial rain showers, hail the size of tennis balls, thunder that roars like a lion in distress, and lightning that’s expelled from the hands of Mother Nature on her menses.
My dating struggles seem unbalanced … equally unyoked. Struggle is said to be the key that unlocks the deadbolt to irrefutable happiness. Struggle is said to be the escalating steps that lead you out of darkness. I’ve tried to light a candle in the midst of my struggle … in the pit of total darkness. But, darkness blew it out.
Lord, are you forwarding all of my calls (prayers) to voicemail? Universe, are you teaming up with Ashton Kutcher? I’m just saying, it’s hard to believe that I’m not on an unaired episode of Punk’d.
Damn it! This dating shit sucks! My dating life and my pursuit of finding a mate to my cringing soul is equally unbalanced, equally unyoked, and equally f@&ked!
My mind constantly drifts into the lands, castles, and bedrooms of fables, fairy tales, and fantasies. I find myself in a reverie … more like an erotic meltdown … sheets drenched from the tears of my fragile body. It has been years since I’ve had the pleasure of being pleasured. It has been years since I’ve had the desire to touch, feel, lick, suck, or even taste a man. It has been years since I’ve had the heart to share or love and be loved by someone else (including myself). But, it has only been a few moments of time in the present since I’ve yearned for him … his time, his commitment, his stress, his pain, his tears, his joy, his happiness, his masculinity … him nurturing the rib I cracked.
Is this a dream by night or a dream by day? Is this a figment of my imagination? Is this another generational folktale? Am I both the protagonist and the antagonist in this dry ass reality? I … I suppose … Thoughts are pillars of our reality … the stepping stones of unknown truths.
Fables, Fairy Tales, and Fantasies .. What’s your story?