Creeping on My “Hoverboard” … Like a Boss

Uh, yeah … my over the age of 35 a** bought a “hoverboard” aka self-balancing scooter aka mini segway aka motorized skateboard aka monorover aka pimp yo “bih” scoot-boot aka “so I creep” two wheel balance board. Ok, we all know the sh** doesn’t hover, so enough with the slick comments … rolls eyes with a lip twist.

I’ve watched countless videos of humans and even animals (young, old, and slightly in the middle) glide their way across the family room, scare the family pets, fall (2015’s Most Epic Fall was from Iron Mike aka Mike Tyson), slip, or land in some awkward position all in sloooooow motion, and/or dance like it was 1999 … all of that on a motorized two wheel (less than 12 mph) scooter. Sounds like FUN, right? I actually started noticing these weird looking (but, terribly awesome) scooters back in January of 2015 … when all of us were wondering … WTH is that thing?!? We’ve finally made it into the “Future.” Hey, we’re still waiting on the flying cars of the year 2000 “doe.”

Why did you get that ish? You may ask … Hell, I don’t know, why do you sneak farts (if you don’t, something is wrong  … I fart rainbows and birth unicorns)? Ha! To be honest, I’m really a teenager hidden in the body of an eccentric 38 year old. Shrugs shoulders … as the young’uns say, “Kanye shrug.”

All jokes, metaphors and all the extra “ish” aside … It’s ok to be DIFFERENT … be the BEST you. The world would definitely be a better place if we all lived without limitations or rid ourselves of the baggage from yesteryear. We can even travel “Back to the Future” … you know, where the hoverboard craze originated. Thanks Marty McFly!

Well, I guess I’ll see you later … I’m going to creep on my scoot-boot aka “hoverboard.”



Karma Loves

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