It is a known fact that some men suffer from “HMAS” (His Miserable Ass Syndrome) or IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome-the more medically accepted term). Guys, don’t deny it, you too can be a pain in the rear during your “time of the month” or during “that time of the day.” For us, PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) can wreak havoc on our bodies and mental stance. We suffer from uncontrollable cramps, explosive diarrhea, headaches, swelling, abdominal bloat, sporadic gas, acne, increased appetite, and strange cravings … most of us would need an exorcism. Whoa! I rebuke Auntie Flow and her pesty little minions.
PMS/Periods can cause a hormonal roller coaster (with twists, turns, spins, and sudden dips) … an emotional and psychological upheaval (one minute you’re happy and the next minute you want to “slap the taste” out of someone’s mouth). I seek comfort by lounging on the bed in a fetal position with my thumb in my mouth.
Guys, you too are often seen as the “hormonal scrooge.” Some men suffer from monthly (many times daily or weekly) meriods (male periods). Many of you tend to act as if you’ve lost your damn mind. Fellas, if you experience constant mood swings, complaining, stubbornness, short-term amnesia, a shorter attention span, bull headedness, child-like whining, child-like temper tantrums, a constant act of ignoring your partner, and lower butt pain (from your wife, girlfriend, or lover kicking you in the ass) … you’re on your “meriod.” We feel bad for you son … you got 99 problems and a “meriod” is one hundred and one.
Ladies, the next time your mate starts to act a damn fool, ask him, “Baby, are you on your meriod?” Give him a hug (be gentle), a kiss on the forehand (make it sweet), and hand him a super absorbent “manpon” (male tampon).