Why are you Single?

Why are you single? Hell, if I knew the answer I wouldn’t be single and you wouldn’t keep inquiring about my dating life. I’m single because I choose not to settle for the first man who smiles in my face while licking his lips or gazing at my covered chest, a man who tells me I’m “hot” or “fine” or “sexy” (usually it’s not what you say it’s how you say it), a man who purposely tells me he’s single only to discover he’s married, engaged, or in another “situationship.”

It took me going through the many trials of dating and a broken marriage to realize my worth. Abstaining from sex has played a major role in building my self-value or self-worth. I no longer desire to hold the title of a “friend with benefits” … a “one night stand” … or a “hot piece of ass.”

Remember, when you allow a distressed man to enter your womb you become a part of him … the deleterious spermatozoa that he releases may contain a few of his unsettled demons (a “rubber” would be too weak to shield the vigor). So, think about that before you become intoxicated by the penis. This is far beyond being “drunk in love.”

And Ladies, you play a major role in the dating game. That thing between your legs has unmeasurable value and power. Respect yourself. If you don’t, he won’t either. And, stop believing that women can be like men in a sexual nature (where sex is just a physical thing). Most men usually think with the head of their “little man.” Eventually, you will catch feelings, you will sit by the phone hoping he’ll call, and you will beat yourself up asking, “Why did I even get involved?”

As women (and as men) we must take our time, be patient, and gain knowledge about the person whom we may one day call our “man (woman)” … our “boo” … our “husband (wife).”

I still believe there is someone for everyone … we aren’t equipped to love alone; it’ll take a mental, spiritual, and psychological connection.

Dear Unborn Child

Dear Unborn Child,

It’s not that I don’t want you …

I am financially unstable

I am mentally incapable

I am spiritually torn

I am emotionally drained

I am psychologically detached

It’s not that I don’t want you … I think of you daily. I feel the warmth of your body against my chest. I feel the sucking sensation on my nipples as you eat from my breasts. I want to raise you with values and morals. And reward you with diamonds and pearls. I want to protect you from the impurities of this world.

It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want the responsibility of being a mother in love with a man who cared only when his penis was in her hand. I don’t want to be just the “baby mama” … I don’t need the excessive drama. I know, how selfish of me.

It’s not that I don’t want you … Right now, I’m embracing my life as a single, dateless, and childless being. Before we (your father and I) bring you into this world, I want to be certain we’re prepared to bear your strife, your joy, your hurt, your pain … whether you’re a boy or a girl.

It’s not that I don’t want you … I don’t want to be another mother of a fatherless child.

With Love,

Your Looming Mommy

I salute all the single mothers (and fathers) of the world. Continue to be like superwomen (and supermen). Your child’s happiness is your power and your strength. Wear your cape with pride.

Be a Blessing

You never know what someone is going through until you walk miles (barefoot) or in their shoes with no soles. Everyone attempts to travel alone before needing the company of someone else. The world is composed of too many bullies (intentional or unintentional). Before you form your lips to speak, allow your thoughts to process. The tongue is the most powerful weapon we as humans possess. It’s like a samurai sword piercing through your body and tipping the core of your heart (right before the “lub dub”).

We were all planted on this earth to bloom without fear of someone cutting off our supply of water, oxygen, and essential nutrients and fly without fear of someone clipping our wings. Humans tend to be the most disengaged and insensible beings on earth. We often attack others (with words) like a predator decoying its prey. Words can hurt and in many instances, kill.

I ask that each and every one of you take just five minutes out of your day to converse with a stranger. It only takes a few seconds to utter, “Good Morning” or “Have a beautiful day.” Smile like you just won the lottery. Actually you did … the lottery of life. You were blessed with another chance and another opportunity to LIVE. Be a blessing to someone else. A chapter in your life story could be the one to save a life.