Becky (Beatrice), Look at her (his) butt

What better way to start the morning off than with a tribute to ass. I know, how dare I write a post about that big (or small) bubble butt, that big (or small) “cake by the pound”, that big (or small) slab of “junk in your trunk”, or that big (or small) mass of curvaceous meaty tissue we coin as the one, the only … ass.

I’ve watched them all (butts that is) sway like a broke pimp or attempt to speak with no sound during one of my many “people (butt) watching” segments at the supermarket. There’s no better way to enjoy your grocery experience. Men with muscular butts tend to make a sista drool like a fool … it’s the right cheek that does it to me every time. They can flex the muscle without even knowing it. I just want to throw a penny at that ass and make a wish all before it (the penny that is) bounces back and hits me in the eye (It’ll shoot your eye out kid) … OUCH!

This is for the ladies who often feel a bit embarrassed or weird about their bountiful blessing. I often have to buy jeans one size up just to appease my rump. I even tried to suck it in once … Big Mistake (no pun intended) … the trapped gas I once had slowly eased right on out once my booty was released from my muscle bound grip. I was literally the walking fart machine. Can you imagine walking around only to rush into a corner to let loose? YIKES! It wasn’t the sound (it has quite a harmonic tone) it was the smell (forces you to make the ugliest face, close your eyes, and fan your nose before the hairs are abruptly charred).

Embrace your booty! Walk with class without displaying all of that ass.

Cheers to my BIG (or small) booty sisters (no matter your color)!

Dateless in Carolina Theatrics

Today is not just like any other day. Each day that you arise you are granted another opportunity to LIVE, to be FREE, to be WHOLE, and to be YOU. Thank You Universe! Thank you Lord! Thank you Angels! Thank you Creator!

I often do the same things every morning … roll over several times, close my eyes, and wipe the sweat from my thighs (hoping that the half naked man in my dreams would reappear), slap and curse at the alarm clock (until I only have ten minutes to get dressed for work), do my wide arm and wide mouth stretch, hop out of bed and into the shower (allowing the steam to penetrate my skin), lubricate my body with my coconut oil concoction, grab my two-piece suit and kitty kat heels, put on a natural face (just a dab of Cover FX in Medium Deep just to shield the imperfections), cover my lips with Mac’s Cherish (one of the best nudes for women of color), run to the kitchen to grab a bottle of Bolthouse Farm’s Vanilla Chai Latte (may cause an orgasm in your mouth) from the frig, and make my way to the car (trying not to slam the door behind me). Dateless in Carolina never felt so theatrical.

Always remember that your life is your story … it’s your moment to be in the spotlight. You are the only one that can call ACTION! Be free to live without regret, without fear, and without knowing. You will never know what the world has in store if you don’t take a chance.

Spread your wings and Fly … Fly higher than the eagles that scamper through the clouds. Free yourself!