Ladies Public Restroom Chronicles

Ladies, we must do a lot better in the public restroom department. Every time I walk into a public restroom I feel as though I need to be fully armored with a gas mask, full artillery, a biohazard suit, and a fire extinguisher (poop can be explosive). Not only are we forced to squat (excruciating pain after leg day at the gym), but we must avoid touching the shiny chromed handle with our hands. We then must use some out of nowhere kung fu kick to flush. What makes matters even worse is when you hear the grunts and moans of a woman who has the infamous “bubble guts” … Now, you must hold your nose, squat like a novice twerker, and hurry the hell out of there. What a nightmare! But wait, it’s not just the southern ladies … it’s all of us born with a brilliant va-jay-jay. It births, bleeds, and burps! That’s one powerful “P.H.A.T (Pretty Hot and Tempting) Pocket!”

Ladies, we must do better in the public restroom department. Comment below with your public restroom horror stories.

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